A Diary Entry
by Ruth the White Dragon
Summary: A confession of a sort. A bit different to the usual fics.


A Diary Entry  
  
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling (the goddess) owns everything except the plot and the shrink.  
  
AN: This is very out of character and not really very realistic or well written, but I have a weird sense of humor and I find this funny. Please review.  
  
Diary,  
  
This is my first entry so I'll sum up my last few years of life. All the important things in my life have happened in the last five and a half years and the most important things have happened in this past year or so.  
  
I joined Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry at age eleven, I met and made friends with Ron Weasley and Harry Potter that year, I then made friends with the rest of the Weasleys, some other students and a number of teachers.  
  
I carried on learning and being a good student (one of the best in my year) until my fifth year, when I realised that I was wasting my time only learning from books and the teachers at Hogwarts. Voldemort was back and terrorizing the magical world with spells, curses and hexes the likes of which I had never even imagined.  
  
At the end of my fifth year I'd had enough of being good.  
  
Everyone considered me to be so smart and always able to understand everything I was taught, but I didn't understand this one thing. Why were they just sitting there and waiting for Voldemort to come and kill them? And how did they think they were going to win against him? He had people everywhere, Dumbledore had a few people in the with Death Eaters, they were the only people who could stop the slaughter that had already started. I offered to join and turn spy for Dumbledore (that way I would learn the things I wanted and help him at the same time), he said that I was "too young to do something like that", and that "to sacrifice my innocence would make him just as evil as Voldemort". But I never believed that. I believed that I could look after myself, that I didn't need Dumbledore to tell me what and what not to do.  
  
I joined Voldemort. Not out of spite for Dumbledore, but because I didn't see the reason in not joining him. It was, and still is, obvious to me that he has the better side and more ways to win this war. The only thing I'm refusing to do is give him Harry, but that doesn't matter, he doesn't care about that because I give him other things. Information he couldn't otherwise get hold of. I'm very careful about what I do give to him, making sure that he can't hurt my close friends with it.  
  
He told me that he could train me and teach me to be so much better than most of his other followers, except Lucius Malfoy. Lucius is very powerful. He doesn't need to prove it to anyone either, everyone knows he is and avoids getting in his way. I want to be like that, I want everyone to know not to mess with me because I won't let them get away with it. I want people to understand that they can't have it their way just because they have a father and/or mother who are Pureblooded, or for any other reason but that they have proved themselves. I look up to Lucius, he is a role model for me, though he doesn't know me or even know that I exist. I'm pleased with that, I like people not to notice that I admire them.  
  
My parents died 'in a car crash' recently. Cause of death; typical car crash wounds. Everyone was very worried that I might have been hurt since I was in the car at the time. I came out of the crash with noting much worse than a shallow cut from the broken glass of the window I crawled out of. People were also worried that I would be mentally injured, but because I was the real cause of their death I'm fine with it. I played the part of loving daughter and pretended to be hysterical at the scene and mildly depressed now. But I'm "recovering well from the shocking loss of both parents", as my Muggle shrink said.  
  
I'm thankful no one noticed the fact that my parents were dead before the crash. I'm also thankful that I'm back at Hogwarts now and no one knows that they are dead. It seems no one has thought to inform my school yet. And of course I'm still too upset by it all to tell them. Boo ho. Such a tragedy.  
  
Sometimes I think the world is so pathetic it just needs to be wiped out.  
  
On that positive thought I shall stop writing.  
  
Love,  
  
Hermione Granger. 


End file.
